Topo Time

Good morning 

      Man I'm running out of ways to start my emails, maybe I should have done monthly emails to break up the chore of trying to figure out the titles and how to start. I'm doing a lot better and doing things a lot better. I've definitely grown this week and felt a change. Elder Greene and I were planning our week out and felt a little discouraged as we filled our schedules with pretty much nonsense. We're trying to find the most effective and best way to "waste" our time, given that theres not many effective ways to USE our time. This week ended up being a borderline mental health week, as people took their last minute vacations and trips before having to stress about getting things up and running for school again. Alpine turned into a ghost town, and were left wandering the streets soulless at times. A week to recoup and regenerate was something that we both needed considering the mental abuse that is Alpine. It's good to take a break for a little bit and regain strength, so you can tackle it again stronger and with a new view and perspective. We had some spanish elders come and spend a night with us before they took off the next morning to presidio. It was good to talk to some people and share some good moments for a while, before we went back to doing service all day, and man did we do a lot of service. 

      I'm torn between enjoying cutting grass, due to it being somewhat satisfying and easy, or despising it because of how often we do it. I mean seriously, does grass really grow that fast? We're up in the mornings mowing someones grass at least 3 days out of the week and you would think that the grass has learned its lesson to not mess with us, but it doesn't. If we're not ripping up yards, we're cooking lots of food for events. I've kindled the fire for my interest in cooking, and I really love doing it again. I gotta say that elder greene and I shut things down when we smoke some meet, we can barely keep up with our demand. We cooked 200 pounds of chicken for a catholic church party, 10 racks of ribs for a friend's birthday party, and more ribs and chicken for our own personal use and branch members. People are starting to ask for us to cook for their events and they drop over dead when we say it's all free, it's too good of a deal for them not to take it. So if I don't come out of alpine chefing it up like Gordon Ramsey I think I might go vegan. Luckily we have someone that provides all the meat for us so it's not like we have to stop anytime soon. But this was our week. Just cooking and doing service. 

      I wanted to close off with a little bit of my testimony. I've been thinking a lot lately about why I decided to serve a mission, and what keeps me going out here. I might sound like a broken record but allow it. I've faced a lot of incredible challenges in all domains throughout my life, (physical health is getting better) and yet I refuse to give up. Sometimes I surprise myself with how well I handle trials, so I have to pat myself on the back for that one. To answer the first part; my answer changes a little bit the longer I'm out here. Obviously my initial decision and thought process doesn't, but I realize more of what it actually means to be a missionary. Before I came out I was at easily one of the lowest parts of my life. I was making some bad decisions and I was lost and depressed. I gained bad habits and I feared for myself and for my future. Now that would be a sad story if it ended there, but it doesn't. I made the decision to serve a mission because I knew I could be better, I knew I was better, and I knew I was missing something in my life. I've always tried to be the person to put others first and try so hard to help them through what they were going through, I didn't see that it was bringing me down with them. I didn't surround myself with good support and I realized that I needed to raise the bar for myself and also be that example for others. I didn't have someone that I could look up to and follow, so I created him, and strive to be that for other people. I chose to serve because I knew God was going to work with me and help me learn as I'm teaching others and helping them learn. I can help others grow while growing closer to God simultaneously, instead of letting what they're doing affect me. I stay out on my mission because I'm not done. I haven't finished all that God needs me to, and I haven't finished everything I set my mind to and my own personal goals that I have for myself. There's people out there that need me and my talents and gifts, and I will find them. It's not fair that I don't let them have a chance of joining God's church because "it's too hard" or "I don't feel well" or whatever it is. My biggest fear is meeting someone in the afterlife and they were someone that I was supposed to reach out to but never did. I can't let that happen. I know that I am meant to be here for a reason. I know that I'm imperfect, but I can be made perfect in christ. I have a longgggg way to go to get there, but every day is another day to walk closer. 

       Yeah that's long but I won't apologize. I will however thank you for reading all of that if you did. Anyways, yall are awesome and I appreciate you immensely. Stay cute! 

- elder dankins