A Letter To Myself (1 Year Mark)

Dear Elder Jenkins, 

     I am so proud of you. I know you have been through so much in your life, more than you're willing to openly admit, and maybe others may even know about, but there's a reason you're meant to keep going. Watching you grow this past year has been inspiring. I knew that you always had it in you to be an example and a light for others. You've come such a long way. You used to hide yourself and be scared about everything because of how many times you've been hurt, and you always were the first person to put yourself down. If the younger version of you were to look at you now, I don't think we would be able to recognize each other. You've always had it in you to push past the hand you're dealt and peoples expectations, but now you exceed your own and raise the bar. You've made incredible changes in your life, choices that were not easy to make and it broke you for a while, but the person who came out at the end was worth sticking around for. I don't understand it myself, but you're an example of never letting the odds define you or never letting anyone take anything away from you, to me and so many people. I know you're making the old you, who almost gave up those many years ago proud, and you're sticking to the promise we made. You've become such an incredible person and missionary already, and I'm excited to see where the rest of this journey takes you. You're learning the importance of a true conversion to Christ, and thats going to take you far in life and no one is going to take that from you, not even the devil himself. Your testimony grows like a weed and it's powerful, never forget to share it because the spirit radiates when you do. You've learned to take control of your thoughts and actions better, and flipped the stubborn mule inside of you to work for you instead of against you. There's a lot on your mind going on and a lot on your plate, but you still serve diligently and faithfuly with a smile on your face, and you truly love the people you serve. You know what it means to give it your all, and even when you're down, I'm impressed with how easily you snap back. Elder Jenkins, keep being unstoppable and keep defying the odds. 

      JJ,

I want to say thank you for remembering to turn towards the Lord. He saved your life and you owe him yours. I know it was hard when you lost everything you had and everything around you. Your whole world fell apart and you felt like you had no control. When you tried to make things better they only worsened. I hope you know this was only making you humble and receptive to finally listening to the still small voice. You had to loose it all, and yes I mean everything, so you could recognize just how much the Lord was about to give you. You had to make room for the blessings you were going to receive and man was it a lot, overwhelming even. Thank you for thinking to pray that night you couldn't take it anymore. Thank you for searching the scriptures after crying the hardest You've ever cried, even when you didn't believe the words meant anything. They will, and they do. Those exact words you read that lifted you out of your rut, baptized someone into the fold of God. At times you'll struggle and feel like you're alone, but you never are. Remember the comfort you felt when you prayed for the first time in a long time, and when you needed him most he was there. You wouldn't belive me if I said it, but the Lord loves you. He had to break you down to build you up. A mirror by itself can only reflect what's in front of it, a mirror broken in pieces can add more perspective, insight, and reflections. It can show the little details that make the big picture possible. God is building your broken pieces into a mirror that he's standing in front of. Every one of your broken pieces reflects a new thing, a new detail, a new part of you thats becoming closer (reflected) to (in) God. Don't forget how he helped you through those hard times. 

     Josh, 

You're amazing. Don't ever let anyone tell you otherwise. You're not perfect, but you make a great effort at getting better each day. I know without a doubt that if you put your mind to something, you're going to achieve it. I know you see the miracles that you have witnessed already, and there's so many more in store. I want to advise you to remember your why. Always strive to give it your best. Keep giving people a fair shot. Keep showing others love. Keep being kind. Keep following God. Keep learning. Keep growing. Even when people knock you down, keep going. But by all means never give up. Give all glory to God and never let yourself fall into pride. Remember who you are and what you came from. I wish you wouldn't be so hard on yourself. Be patient with yourself and know that growth takes time. Yours has come in many intervals but the point is You've still grown. Let your soul be converted to the Lord and have no regrets. You still hold on and carry a lot of that pain or trauma and that causes you to not act yourself sometimes. You try to make others laugh and happy, but forget to make yourself happy first. Give it all to God and he will transform you. You know that. I will always be by your side to support you or put you back in line when you need it. Now go and change the world. I love you.